The holiday season is often thought of as a time of joy, celebration, and connection. However, for many individuals, it also brings unique challenges that can lead to stress, anxiety, and even sadness. Whether you’re dealing with financial worries, the pressure to meet unrealistic expectations, or navigating family dynamics, the holiday season can quickly become overwhelming. Understanding how to manage holiday stress effectively can help you approach the season with more balance and enjoyment.
Why Do the Holidays Feel So Stressful?
Getting through holiday stresses often requires a mental skill called cognitive flexibility. This refers to the ability to adjust your thinking or strategies to handle changing situations. Cognitive flexibility is especially important during the holidays because it helps us shift focus between tasks, juggle competing priorities, and adapt to new demands. However, this skill can be harder to manage when faced with the extra pressures of the season.
When we ask too much of our minds—like trying to plan gatherings, shop for gifts, and meet deadlines all at once—it can leave us feeling overwhelmed, distracted, or even forgetful. The good news is that holiday stress is usually short-lived, meaning it’s a temporary reaction to immediate challenges. Once the holiday season ends, our minds typically have time to recover and reset.
Several factors contribute to why the holidays feel especially stressful:
- Unrealistic Expectations: Many of us imagine picture-perfect holidays based on movies, stories, or past experiences. We expect flawless family dinners, the perfect gifts, and everyone behaving their best. When reality doesn’t match these expectations, frustration and disappointment can follow.
- Financial Pressure: The economic challenges of recent years have made financial stress more prevalent. Yet, some people feel compelled to maintain the same gift-giving habits as during better times, leading to overspending or guilt about not doing enough.
- Merriment Overload: Overindulging in food, drinks, and spending often feels like a holiday tradition. However, this cycle of consumerism and enforced celebration can take a toll on mental health, particularly for those already facing financial or substance-related struggles. Overdoing it can leave lingering feelings of regret once the festivities are over.
- Too Much Togetherness: Many holiday traditions bring people together for events like parties, family dinners, and gatherings. While these occasions can be joyful, they may also lead to uncomfortable dynamics or conflict. Unresolved tensions or long-standing family roles can resurface, making navigating these interactions more difficult.
- Feeling Left Out in the Cold: Loneliness is a significant issue for some during the holidays. More than one in 10 Canadians often or always feel lonely, and loneliness is linked to increased mental health problems. The holidays can intensify feelings of isolation, particularly for those who have lost loved ones, moved away, or experienced strained relationships.
Practical Tips for Reducing Holiday Stress
The good news is that holiday stress can be managed. With effective planning, realistic expectations, and healthy coping strategies, you can create a holiday experience that feels more meaningful and less stressful. Here are some tips to guide you:
Reevaluate Your Expectations
Ask yourself: Are my holiday expectations realistic? Is the picture of the perfect holiday based on what’s possible, or on an idealized version that may not align with reality? For example, if your siblings have a history of disagreements at family gatherings, it’s unlikely that this year will magically be different without effort from all sides.
Focus on what you can control, like planning manageable events, setting clear boundaries, and adjusting expectations to align with your current circumstances.
Plan and Budget Ahead
“Last-minute” stress can be avoided with a little preparation. Make a plan for the holidays, including your time, finances, and responsibilities.
- Budget Your Spending: Set a realistic spending limit for gifts and holiday activities—and stick to it. Remember, meaningful gifts don’t have to come with a hefty price tag.
- Prioritize Time Management: Pace yourself. Don’t overcommit to events or tasks that will leave you feeling stretched too thin.
Focus on What Truly Matters
It has been shown that people who prioritize relationships and shared activities during the holidays experience more happiness than those focused solely on gift-giving. Think about what brings you the most joy, whether that’s a cozy evening with family, volunteering, or reconnecting with friends.
Ask yourself: Will this matter a year from now? Reframe stressful situations by shifting focus toward the big picture.
Maintain Healthy Coping Strategies
Avoid turning to unhealthy habits like overeating, excessive alcohol, or isolating yourself. Instead, try the following:
- Exercise: Physical activity releases endorphins, lowers stress, and improves mood. A simple walk outdoors can make a big difference.
- Relaxation Techniques: Practice mindfulness, deep breathing, meditation, or yoga to calm your mind and body.
- Sleep Hygiene: Maintain a consistent sleep schedule and avoid caffeine or screens before bed to ensure you’re well-rested.
Set Boundaries and Learn to Say No
You don’t have to say yes to every invitation or take on every responsibility. Setting healthy boundaries can protect your time and energy. It’s okay to decline events or tasks that feel overwhelming – prioritize what matters most to you.
Be assertive when necessary. If certain people or situations are consistent sources of stress, consider limiting your exposure or approaching these interactions with realistic expectations.
Stay Connected and Seek Support
- Lean on Friends and Family: Share your feelings and experiences with trusted loved ones who can offer support and perspective.
- Consider Professional Help: If stress or sadness feels overwhelming and interferes with your daily life, reaching out to a mental health professional can provide valuable tools for coping.
Create Time for Yourself
The holidays often revolve around meeting the needs of others, but self-care is equally important. Take time to unwind and enjoy activities that bring you peace and joy—whether that’s reading a book, enjoying a hobby, or simply spending quiet time alone.
A Balanced Holiday Season
The holidays don’t have to be perfect to be meaningful. By letting go of unrealistic expectations, planning ahead, and focusing on what truly matters, you can reduce stress and create space for joy and connection. Remember, it’s the moments shared with loved ones, the traditions you enjoy, and the kindness you show to yourself and others that make the season special.
If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, know that help is available. Speaking with a mental health professional can provide the support and tools you need to navigate the season’s challenges with greater ease. Your well-being matters, during the holidays and throughout the year.
Support Services for the Holiday Season
If you need support during the holidays, reach out to one of the following services:
- Community Urgent and Crisis Services: Call the Crisis Intervention Centre at 613-969-7400 Ext 12753, available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
- 988 Suicide Crisis Helpline: This 24/7 support service is accessible by calling or texting 988.
- Addictions and Mental Health Support: Visit www.accessmha.ca or call 1-888-757-7766.
- Warm Line Peer Support: If you’re feeling lonely, isolated, anxious, or depressed, call or text a peer support worker. Available 6 pm to midnight, 7 days a week. Call 416-960-WARM (9276) or text 647-557-5882.
References:
Coping with Holiday Stress. (2015, December). CAMH. https://www.camh.ca/en/camh-news-and-stories/coping-with-holiday-stress
Holiday stress and the brain. (2016). Harvard Medical School. https://hms.harvard.edu/news-events/publications-archive/brain/holiday-stress-brain
K. R. Cohen. (2009). Holiday stress. In Psychology Works. https://cpa.ca/docs/File/Publications/FSHolidayStress(1).pdf
Psychologists’ Association of Alberta. (2021). PAA Fact Sheet – HOLIDAY STRESS. https://psychologistsassociation.ab.ca/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/2021-Holiday-Stress-Fact-Sheet.pdf
Valatcmha. (2023, March 30). Five ways to protect your mental health from holiday stress. CMHA National. https://cmha.ca/news/five-ways-to-protect-your-mental-health-this-holiday/